Soulbound Read online

  Tash was a blur as he turned and kissed Mayr with so much fervour it hurt. His arms looped around Mayr's neck, pulling him into the assault.

  Mayr surrendered with a choked cry. He met each thrust of Tash's tongue with his own, their lips attempting to meld and move as one. Arms around Tash's waist, Mayr held tight and ground against Tash. Fingers raked down his back. Tash's desire staked its claim on Mayr without restraint.

  In an instant, his weapons belt was unbuckled and in Tash's hands.

  "We don't have much time then," Tash said, tossing the belt aside and seizing Mayr's second belt. Tash's face flushed as he fumbled with the buckle. "We need to make the best of this." He flung the second belt behind him. The leather and metal skidded across the floor into a shrub.

  Not a breath later, his palms clamped around Mayr's cheeks. In a heated frenzy, he jerked Mayr in for another kiss, almost toppling them both.

  Mayr groaned, gripping Tash by the elbows to steady himself. He fended off Tash's impatient grabs for the hem of his tunic. "I have to… Stay still, you."

  Caught in a daze, he clutched Tash's arm to ensure they both remained upright. In slow movements, Mayr grasped the comb on the underside of Tash's veil and drew the headdress away, careful not to tear the fabric, despite Tash's fidgeting. Gingerly he folded the veil and placed in on the floor behind them, away from the plants and soil.

  The next moment, Mayr took to Tash's mouth with a loud moan that died on their lips. His fists crushed the front of Tash's robes as he yanked Tash against him. Fingers quested over his waist and dipped into sensitive crevices. A tantalizing pressure traced the outline of his cock then continued downwards between his legs.

  The growl that rumbled deep in his throat forced their lips apart. Hands on Tash's hips, Mayr scrunched Tash's robes upwards. The three layers gathered quickly in his fists until he could hold no more. Slipping his hands beneath the layers, Mayr worked his touch over Tash's chest until he grazed his hardened nipples. To the sounds of Tash's murmurs of approval, Mayr pinched and played, circling his fingertips around the nubs.

  When Tash craned his head back and tugged Mayr's hair, Mayr's patience burned out. Agitated by the barriers between them, he scrambled to rid Tash of the robes. Together they struggled to remove the crumpled fabric. Their fingers stumbled over closures until they gave up. Mayr pulled the robes over Tash's head with little care. He balled them up and threw them over his shoulder. The bundle hit the doors before Tash made fast work of Mayr's tunic and discarded it in the same direction as the robes.

  Mayr's naked skin welcomed the steamy air as Tash's hands traveled across his shoulder blades, gripping and stretching on their journey down his back. Pressed against Tash's bared flesh, Mayr kissed him with agonizing tenderness to temper the frenzy they had started. Time was important but not enough to rush through what he needed to do.

  Instead, he sucked on Tash's bottom lip until Tash whimpered and attempted to take control. Mayr leisurely denied his efforts and worshipped Tash's upper lip with the same attention. Only when Tash's lips felt lavished to exhaustion did he offer a kiss that was all softness. His body had made its desire known through fire and desperation, but this kiss came from his soul. Emotions poured from him like water and turned to honey in their mouths, sweetening the kiss until it became the slightest touch of skin on skin, one breath away from chaste.

  Silent, Mayr unclasped the chain to the talon ring from Tash's bracer before removing the ring and chain. There would be time for pain in their pleasure but not then. With the same amount of care, he drew his chain with the locket and Iliane's ring over his head.

  Jewelry clutched in one fist, Mayr wrapped his other hand around Tash's and led him towards the pool. Small bubbles from the heated rocks at the bottom broke the water's surface. White candles small enough to fit in his palm floated on top, silver petals stuck to several of them. Beside the pool lay a brown wood bowl no larger than his hand. He laid the ring and necklace in the bowl and moved it away from the blankets and pillows to keep their treasures safe.

  The removal of their boots and stockings was not as cautious, followed by the careless tossing of the items to either side of the marble path. Reminded of their first time in the conservatory, Mayr stepped onto the blankets and sank down into the pillows. He leaned back against the side of the warm pool and offered his hand to Tash.

  A dreamy smile was his reward as Tash accepted and kneeled on the blankets. Once he took his place between Mayr's raised knees, he eased back into Mayr's arms. A contented sigh slipped from him as he cuddled close, his back sliding along Mayr's chest. He curled one arm around Mayr's neck and nuzzled his chin.

  "I love you," Tash whispered, threading his fingers through Mayr's hair. "With my life, my breath, and every piece of my soul, I love you."

  Mayr squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to remember the words he wanted to say, questions he had practiced a hundred times in the last week. No matter how terrifying the answers might be, he had to ask.

  Please don't let this hurt.

  Licking his lips, Mayr let his hands roam over Tash. If he distracted himself, maybe the words would tumble from his lips. He followed the tightened muscles of Tash's chest to his stomach and further below, snaking beneath the tied waist of Tash's red pants. Encouraged by Tash's moan, Mayr stroked his shaft, the flared head already wet with pre-release.

  His cock twitched its approval as Tash drew up his knees. Mayr's fingers continued through the hot crevices and around Tash's balls. He cupped the tightened sacs then fluttered his fingertips over the entrance behind them.

  Tash's back arched. A strangled whimper cut through his ragged breaths. He clenched Mayr's knees tight enough to scrape skin through Mayr's pants.

  "I love you too," Mayr mumbled, cowardice washing over him. Those words were easy to say, but he hid behind them. Convenience was not the same as doing what was right.

  It was time to move on. He had to leave Betta and her betrayal behind. Her lies clouded the issue, as did the memories of everyone else who had taken advantage of him. Rejection could not dictate his life any longer. There was no debate, no delay, and no excuse. There was only the need to make Tash his completely.

  I still don't know how we're going to work it all out, but I have to stop worrying about every detail. I'm so scared that I'm throwing myself into pointless logistics and pretending I don't know why.

  Logistics they could work out, but rejection was a soulful ache he could not withstand, especially if Tash dealt the blow. He knew how deep the hurt could go, having been rejected once by Tash only to watch him court death.

  Mayr would do anything to keep it from happening again. Tash was worth the agony, and so was the clarity that came with his love. It had taken Mayr their entire relationship to finally understand the truth of his failed romances: he could waste a lifetime blaming his girlfriends for using him and leaving, but he had done it to himself. In a twisted state of self-sabotage, he had purposely chosen the wrong lovers just so they would leave.

  His avoidance of men had been equally damaging, limiting his chances of finding someone he could settle down with. None of it was by accident or coincidence but a way to ensure he was never happy.

  He had always been too afraid to meet the right person.

  After Betta, he was terrified to commit his love to someone else. To protect him, his subconscious had played games to keep him miserable.

  Then you appeared. Mayr leaned his forehead against Tash's temple. I convinced myself you were safe because we were in it for the sex, but the joke couldn't have been more on me. You're the missing piece.

  There was only one way to find out what their future would be.

  Settling his hands on Tash's waist, Mayr pressed his lips to Tash's ear. "So… how many children do we want?"

  Tash startled. He leaned aside to look at Mayr, eyes wide. His lips moved but no words came. A blush spread across his cheeks before he licked his lips and turned away. "One," he said, laying his hand
s over Mayr's. "Maybe two."

  "Two sounds like a good number." Mayr hummed behind his smile. "I'd be willing to try for three."

  With a shaky breath, Tash all but melted into Mayr's embrace. "And this… you… This is real?"

  "I promised we'd talk about it."

  "Yes, but after at least a year. I thought…"

  "Hey." Mayr tilted Tash's face towards him. "You remember what you asked me, right? That if I was with the right person—"

  "—If you'd try being a father again. I remember."

  "Good, because it's all you," Mayr whispered. "So let's do it. As long as you're with me, the number doesn't matter."

  Tash scrambled from his cozy place and turned around, pushing Mayr's legs down and straddling his lap. He pinned Mayr against the pool, arms around Mayr's neck. The pink blush of his cheeks flushed red, as intense and bright as his eyes. "You have me," Tash said. "I'm with you every step."

  The last words came out in a whisper, overpowered by a soundless kiss so full of intent and promise it left Mayr dizzy.

  As Tash drew away, Mayr chased his mouth and reclaimed it with a groan. Tash's hold around his neck tightened, his body pressed close. He forced Mayr against the pool until his back scraped the stone. Barely feeling the twinges of pain, Mayr stretched his arms out along the edge of the pool. While Tash attacked his throat with an onslaught of sloppy kisses, Mayr let his head fall back in mindless surrender.

  Hard found hard as Tash ground into him. More than once, Tash slid over the swollen tip of Mayr's cock, eliciting fiery aches and protests at the fabric between them. Unbearable as the burn was, Mayr wanted more.

  Clenching the inside of the pool, his hands submersed in the hot water, Mayr lifted to rub against Tash. Pull matched push in a frantic rhythm. Tension coiled and pummeled Mayr's muscles, squeezing his insides. The low hum of Tash's throaty moans tumbled over his, converging in a rush of vibrations that surged through Mayr. Shivers wreaked havoc on his control and nothing could stop him from bucking his hips. He was ready to burst. The only thing stopping him was a question, one he needed an answer for before he screamed Tash's name.

  Mayr choked back a moan and plunged one hand into Tash's hair, spraying water over them both. Although his intention had been to enjoy the conservatory until dawn and ask the most important question afterwards, his decisions were breaking apart and crafting a new design. Waiting took too long. He wanted to watch the sun rise knowing Tash's answer.

  "Upstairs," he managed hoarsely, pushing Tash back.

  There was no argument as Tash stood and helped Mayr up, then moved to retrieve his boots. Mayr grabbed his hand and tugged. "Leave them."

  They hurried from the room and through the corridors, half-naked and needy. Mayr ignored the guards they passed. Time was the only one he could not reason with, the one thing he feared at that moment, even if it teased him as brazenly as the guards would later.

  Still holding Tash's hand, Mayr rushed into the darkness of the foyer inside the main entrance and turned to the staircase to his right. The wide steps were barely visible in the thin white moonlight from a window at the top of the stairs. Not trusting himself to take more than one step at a time, he gripped the vine-decorated banister while they climbed the stairs.

  The scorching sensation of Tash's lips on his was fading. He missed the throb of his heart whenever Tash spoiled him with adoration and pleas for more.

  Mayr stopped halfway up the staircase, his feet planted firmly on the landing. He cupped Tash's face in both hands and kissed him hard. Tash backed him against the banister, keeping Mayr in place while their lips and tongues played without mercy.

  Guiding Tash by the shoulders, their mouths never parting, Mayr turned and continued up the stairs backwards. For every step Mayr took, Tash followed, his hands wrapped around Mayr's neck. The kiss deepened with the laborious trek, persisting even while they maneuvered through the hallway between the bedrooms. Eyes closed, Mayr led as much as he obeyed Tash's gentle push.

  When Tash slammed him against a door, Mayr ripped his lips away in surprise.

  Palms slapped the door on either side of Mayr's head. Arms locked him in. Tash pinned Mayr with his body, the hunger on his face apparent even in the thin light.

  They had reached his room, Mayr realized. At the other end of the corridor, the jangle of keys and quiet footfalls accompanied the lingering shadows of the night watchmen.

  Chest heaving, Tash nipped another kiss and palmed Mayr's cock through his pants. If he knew the guards were watching, he made no indication. His hand delved under the ties and fabric and roamed over Mayr's thigh to fondle him from behind.

  Whatever sounds or movements the guards may have made, Mayr heard nothing past his groan of approval. His fingers fumbled over the doorknob grazing his ribs. One awkward turn and the door opened. They stumbled inside before Tash kicked the door closed.

  "Wait." Mayr swept his glance over the darkened room. Warmth lingered from the hearth more than thirty paces to his right, the scent of smoke and burnt wood remnants of the fire he had put out earlier, convinced they would not be in the room until later. The bed was against the wall to his left, dressed neatly with layers of soft sheets, wool blankets, and a thick blue and black quilt his mother had sewn. Earlier that day, he had thrown every pillow he owned onto the bed and arranged them along the headboard. His favourite mauve pillows, usually kept in the two black chairs beside the window with matching mauve curtains, stood among six white pillows in attempts to look orderly and possibly romantic.

  Tempting as it was, they could not tear the bed apart yet. He focused on the window instead, the open curtains forcing his attention to the moonlight. Rays of light passed through the stained-glass window, tinged a faint blue-green. The floor near the window seemed to glow, bathed in the most intense stream of blue light. Around it, thinner bands of green and blue-green ebbed outwards to the rest of the room.

  The light reminded Mayr of the four white feathers in the glass keepsake box on his armoire, a sign from the Goddess of Love the first time he had made love to Tash. They, too, had glowed and stolen his breath.

  There was no better sign than that. Hand in hand, Mayr led Tash across the room and guided him into place on one side of the pool of light.

  "Stay." Mayr raised one hand. "Don't move. Just… right there."

  He barely heard Tash's agreement as he dashed to the bed. Kneeling on the side nearest the door, he reached beneath the bed frame and patted the floor. Nestled against the wall was the small wooden box he needed. The simple box fit in his palm and weighed next to nothing. Inside, it contained a whole life with a thousand hopes and promises.

  His return to the window was more controlled than the giddiness trapped inside him. He wanted to say everything all at once, not one syllable wasted.

  "Now that we're talking about kids," Mayr said, standing in front of Tash, both of them partially in the light, "we can move on to the next matter. Because what you said before—that our children will need protection and have what's rightfully theirs—you're right." He opened the box and held it between them where the light was brightest.

  Tash's ragged breath could have knocked them both over.

  Perfectly illuminated inside the box was a pure white metal ring that glistened blue. Nested in the thick band were four bright blue diamonds, all of them round and polished. Two silver feathers curved around the stones, one above and one below, each etched with minute detail.

  Eyes glistening with sudden tears, Tash raised his hand, hesitant to touch. "Say… Tell me…" His voice cracked, hushed to a whisper. "Please. I need you to…"

  In three steps, Mayr pressed himself to Tash's side. His free hand rested on Tash's hip as he leaned his forehead against Tash's. "Marry me."

  A tear slipped from Tash's eye. Mayr caught it on the back of his finger.

  "Yes." Tash wove his fingers through Mayr's hair. "An eternity of yes."

  "Then you get the pretty." Mayr grinned, snatched the ring
from the box, and placed the box on the windowsill. Resisting the urge to laugh, he focused on sliding the ring onto the middle finger of Tash's left hand. The band fit well, snug and beautiful as he expected. In the stillness, he nuzzled Tash's cheek. "Now I can make you come."

  A passionate kiss silenced his laughter completely. In a flurry of motion, crumpled fabric, and tossed bracers, they ended up naked and on the bed.

  Mayr crawled up the mattress towards the small table left of the bed. On his hands and knees, reaching for the vial of oil on the bedside table, he spread his legs further to display his naked rear and garner attention. For extra measure, he wiggled and bowed down from the waist, the glass vial in his fist.

  A nip on his right buttock made him groan. His back seized. The sensation of teeth and short hairs as they grazed both of his rear cheeks locked him in place, his bottom exposed and vulnerable in the air. The nips grew into bites, followed by kneading and lapping.

  As Tash's tongue slipped into his cleft, Mayr buried his face in the blankets and pushed back, offering to take everything Tash wanted to give. He loved when Tash lingered, when his mouth demanded more.

  Tash's mouth took what it wanted with the added pleasure of his fingers. The tip of his tongue passed over Mayr's tight entrance, first to tease then to prod and seek entry. One finger pushed in slightly before Tash licked a path from Mayr's sac up to his lower back.

  Hard, wet strokes caught Mayr in all the right ways. He rocked gently, holding his breath as Tash sucked around his hole and moaned.

  "You did something—added something," Tash said, his voice low and husky. Fingertips crept over Mayr while Tash devoured him, his tongue thrusting inside.

  Mayr laughed into the bed, but cut it off with a throaty hum as Tash slipped his finger into him. He had hoped the savoury flavour of the new oil would please Tash. It was meant to be tasted not merely used and wiped away. "I may have come up here after dinner and washed up. Maybe rubbed in whatever you think is there." With both arms folded under his head, the vial still in his hand, Mayr peered behind him. "Good or bad?"